I surface in a river. The water is cold and clear. I am told I must wear a T-shirt at all times. Fine. I enjoy the iciness. I can feel the current around my waist. I am wearing a swimming mask that l have to push hard on my forehead to make it watertight. It leaves a red line when I take it off. I push it on and dive. This is what it must feel like to be a piece of ice in my father’s Vodka flowing down his throat.
9 Holidays I wish I hadn't Been On. 04: Heathrow 1978: Delayed Flights, Oedipal Adventures, and the Bermuda Triangle in Barbados
We Fly oto Serve
I open the book and a hand comes out and grabs my throat. The book is full of gruesome black and white photographs, burning waxwork figures with faces dripping off, severed hands that crawl along the ground, lizard monsters that walk into swamps carrying unconscious victims. Each page is a delight to me. Cat people! A cyclops! Monstrous mouths! People are being chased, eaten, kissed and killed! Werewolves! Men in capes with their hands round throats. I LOVE IT.
9 Holidays I wish I had never been on. 03 Blankets, Babies and Breakdowns - Pinocchio, Geppetto and second chances.
My cheeks leave blood stains on the pillows of the couchette on the way home. We are handed over to Gloria and Mike at Victoria Station whilst it is still dark. At first, they take no notice. Then Gloria sees. Her dental training kicks in and she kneels and touches my cheek. She looks at my mother with fury.
These are deep scabs. Hair may never grow here. He will never shave. What did you do?